Eloquent Mess

Couldn’t sleep, kept thinking about this story idea I’ve been writing.

So I typed it up, and — after finding that the internet was back on — I posted it to my site.

Let me know what you think. It’s only Chapter 1, but it’s something.

I think it’s a little slow, but I can always revise it later. Now, sleep.

My first draft outlined a little of what I wanted to happen, but it was pretty shoddy. Too many adjectives, and it didn’t have much kick.

I’ve re-written it, hopefully this time with a little more drive and better quality. I’m interested to know what you think.

It’s expanded some, and looking a bit better in my opinion.

Enjoy.

I really haven’t accomplished much of anything outside of work since I’ve been here. The hours are all wrong, and I don’t want to spend money on cab fare.

But that’s life, I guess. Save my money, and I’ll go home afterwards.

I’m working on my writing more, so it’s not entirely a loss…

Hope you’re all well.

I’ve started writing something to fill the void on my new writing page.

It’s an idea I’ve had for a little while, and I’m not entirely sure where it’s headed, but we’ll see.

Check it out.

I created a “writing” page for this site, where I shall post snippets of my work as I create them.

Maybe someday one of them will turn into a novel.

And maybe it won’t suck!

Let’s keep our fingers crossed. Until then, enjoy reading whatever I post there.

In a short amount of time, I will be traveling to California for a month.

Shortly after that, I’ll be coming home, and then, after a spell, I’ll be traveling out of the country.

I’ll stay connected as much as I can, but (as always) no promises.

Love.

A baby is born. He grows into a child. That child has a dream: to become a dancer.

He loves dancing. At recess, you can find him pirouetting on the playground. At night, he’ll be dreaming of ballet. He wants to share his dream with the world.

But when he dances, he breaks things. Doesn’t mean to, sometimes he’s just careless, sometimes he acts without consideration.

He leaps onto the table, and its legs break.

He spins in place, and knocks over his mother’s vase.

He regrets his crimes, knowing they’ve upset people. But he doesn’t give up… He wants people to know the beauty and love he feels through dance.

He honestly believes things will get better.

The boy becomes a teenager.

He hasn’t stopped dancing.

His peers have seen his dance, and have given mixed responses.

Some believe it beautiful, and say he should continue despite his occasional misfortune.

Others say he’s naive, that his dancing will never amount to anything, that he should find a different passion.

Others want to hope for a bright dancing future, but often can’t see past the catastrophes of the past.

He remains hopeful, and he continues to dance.

On the way to school, he gets distracted by the music that moves him, and he wrecks his car.

He fails a test because he was too busy thinking of new moves instead of studying.

He’s so overcome with his dream for the future that he misses out on the present.

He vows to focus more on his current situation.

The dancing dream goes on hold for a while.

He  moves out, gets a job, and works. And he’s miserable sometimes, but he’s learning. Things stop breaking.

The boy becomes an adult.

And the dream comes back, sudden and unexpected. He sees an advert in the paper for a local dance troupe, and decides to audition.

He practices, and though he’s rusty, he believes in himself, in his ability to improve, adapt, overcome, and excel.

He foresees a bright, dancing future.

The troupe recognizes him, and they know his reputation. They’re unsure whether to take him in, acknowledging his advancement, but remembering his ill-fated past.

He wants to impress them, tries hard…

He falls during the audition, and breaks another dancer’s nose.

Shamed, he steps off stage.

The leader tells him that he sees potential, but he isn’t sure if he can take someone with such a track record.

The boy is crushed. He still dreams of dancing, with all his heart, and he is pretty sure that he can improve, with practice…

But a part of him doubts.

His whole life seems to have been one ill-fated event after another.

What’s he to do?

He sees before him two options.

Either he can keep up hope, keep the dream alive, striving always onward, looking for ways to improve, and praying that he can overcome his past…

Or he can accept defeat, convinced that the past is too much to overcome, and that maybe he’d do better to simply find something different to put his time and efforts into.

His dancer heart wants to hope, but his logical brain just isn’t sure.

If he accepts defeat, he has a hard time believing that he could ever be as passionate about anything else. Nothing can replace dancing for him.

But if he keeps up hope, he’s afraid that he’ll never be able to overcome his previous failures.

Sure, he’ll get better. Sure, he might become the best dancer that ever lived. He may never break another vase, or injure another dancer in his life.

But will the world accept him and forgive the past?

It’s a difficult decision. Give up your dreams for a safe future, or pursue them, knowing you might meet nothing but disappointment?

But he already knows the choice he’s made. He’s known for a long time, now.

All that’s left is for him to act on that choice.

And so, he does.

Everyone seems to seek out drama. They want their lives to be the soap operas and movies and books they remember as kids. Fairy tales, full of emotion, full of loss and love and joy and fear and sorrow. They can’t stand normal, ordinary life. So they create artificial drama, and they believe in it wholeheartedly. And they force it upon everyone around them.

What I wouldn’t give for normal, ordinary life. I don’t want so many ups and downs, extravagant and unpredictable emotions, make-ups and upsets. I don’t want all the doubt and uncertainty. I want my world to slow down, relax, and settle. Rein it in a little.

For me, drama is like salt. A little here and there adds flair and vigor. Too much and I’m sick of eating.

Bring on the boring. I’ll take my salt in book form.

(Is this what it feels like to grow old?)

I’ve been flirting with the idea of writing a MUD server for a long, long time.

Well, now I’ve actually started writing one. It’s very simple, and not really functional yet, but it’s brand new so that’s to be expected.

You can find out more here.

It’s going to be written in Python, and the goal is simplicity, speed, and freedom.

Also, I’ve been playing a fun MUD lately, called Midkemia Online. If you’ve never played a MUD before, that’d be a good place to learn! There’s a good support staff there, and the world is based around the fantasy books by Raymond E. Feist.

This project should give me plenty to work on while I’m on cruise this next year.

Clean, clean, clean, clean, clean…

I’m still not done cleaning this place up. But it’s better. Enough? Not nearly. But better.

Meanwhile, I’ve seen some damn good movies lately.

Here’s one I really enjoyed:

Departures

Off to work soon. I hope you all have a great day.